Private Little Quote Gone Loud

Posted: February 6th, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: breast cancer, mastectomy, Uncategorized | Comments Off

Most everyone in my inner-circle knows that on October 21, 2013, my journey through breast cancer  was blessed with a most beautiful gift of closure — tattoos to cover my mastectomy scars. Thanks to Personal P.INK’s premiere mastectomy scar tattooing event in New York City.

Yesterday, I got to watch a video clip of a South Carolina television reporter interview my beloved tattoo artist, Shannon of Indigo Rose Tattoo Studio, about that event. She not only did a great job with that interview, she’s on her way to California to be interviewed on “The Doctors.” So proud of her!

After watching the news video clip I realized that I hadn’t fully absorbed my tattooing experience though. Or, just how deeply significant is has turned out to be within my life and possibly others.

I apologize for not knowing how to embed the video of that interview into this blog article … A link here will just have to suffice.

Tattoo Artists Use Ink to Help Breast Cancer Patients video link

After watching the news video to the very end, I had the strangest reaction …  Ms. Pragmatic; roar back into the face of cancer; “Buck It Up, Sunshine”; crying ain’t gonna change a damn thing, so keep moving on — well, that gal? She broke down into humbled and honored tears, nearly uncontrollably so.

It was sort of odd to hear my name said on television; hear snippets of my story being told; know that photographs of my tattoos were viewed by strangers. But I had willingly signed a release form allowing all of that to take place.

What unexpectedly hit me hard, moved me to my core, was watching another woman — a professional, trained to hold her emotions intact, a news anchorwoman — have to check her emotions when she heard a reporter repeat my most intimate of intimate moments in my entire breast cancer journey. My heartfelt response to Shannon upon seeing my tattoo for the first time in the mirror that day. “It’s not ugly anymore [my breast]. I’m not ugly anymore.”

What you need to realize is that right before I said that to Shannon, my brain had to do a triple check at the reflection of me in the mirror — it didn’t, at all, recognize who it was looking at. My left breast was covered in plastic wrap while an anesthetic cream was soaking into my scar tissue on that breast. Only my right breast, with the new lace demi-cup bra tattoo, was visible. My brain literally did not recognize who it was looking at.

There was no longer a hideous 8″ scar spanning a breast to instantaneously recognize as a marker … “Scar. Oh, that’s Chérie.” In a flash of a second, I recognized what my brain had done.

I turned to speak to Shannon but deep emotion welled up into my throat. I heard myself choking back tears of humbled gratitude, totally indescribable joy and inexplicable reverence. I can still see Shannon’s serene and focused face looking up at me, looking with anticipation of what I thought.  A hushed and quiet voice came out of me, “It’s not ugly anymore. I’m not ugly anymore.”

After watching the news interview, hearing repeated that quiet little moment that changed my whole life, I now realize it has the capability of  wafting sweetly within our  breast cancer survivor’s community.

You can feel beautiful again, lovely one. You deserve to feel beautiful again. It is possible. There are people willing to help make that possible for you.
Honest, lovely one. Honest.


But more importantly? I now realize that my private little quote has the capability of ringing loudly throughout our medical communities.  A private little quote gone public. A private little quote gone loud … for the collective good. It desperately needs to be heard.

“It’s not ugly anymore. I’m  not ugly anymore.”

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