In my concerted effort to live a life of gratitude, I continue to learn to objectively accept the process of love chafing … Life tossing us all up into the wind, as a means to chafe out the riffraff — so we can more deeply cherish the kernels of love that are true enough to land in our hearts, stay in our hearts.
Over time, the classic knee-jerk reaction is to take someone’s ugly true colors coming forth, as that of betrayal against us personally. We then tend to move on to anger, disappointment, emotionally closing ourselves off. We often come to a point of no longer trusting anyone, even hating people as a whole.
For me, being like that became an emotionally limited way to live my life. I wasn’t happy.
So, you might be thinking, “Does this chick think we’re supposed to run around throughout life with our heart out on our sleeves then? Like we’re free-love idiotsticks chasing butterflies and allowing people to trample all over us?”
No. Absolutely not. But, there is a balance that can be found. if we can find within ourselves the courage to give someone a chance, and, to be patient enough to allow enough time to pass for their true colors to emerge … before we take a person deeply into our hearts, we’ll fair much better.
Until their true colors emerge, we can still objectively experience the magic of friendships and relationships as they evolve. The trick is, if their true colors end up not being so pretty … the person turns out to be a serious dinkweed-of-life, we have remained objective enough to not take it personally. It’s much easier to just calmly walk away from them.
That’s the big trick, to refrain from taking another person’s aberrant behavior personally. It’s their rotten behavior to own. They’re deceit; their backstabbing tactics; their lack of integrity and/or harm with intent upon another person to own. It really truly is just that, theirs. It is anything but a reflection upon us. It is not our hurt or our burden to bear, it’s theirs. They’ve lowered themselves to be nothing more than riffraff.
That’s the big trick, to refrain from taking another person’s aberrant behavior personally.
Truly, their aberrant behavior is a reflection upon their own selves, not you. It has nothing to do with us personally. Every hurtful word they utter, every hurtful action they commit … they’re really doing it to their own selves. We just happened to be another person on their path of life. They’ve done this before, they’ll do it again … to anyone that’ll stick around.
Deep within each of our own minds, we all know what the truth really is. Unless there is a true sociopathic personality disorder in play, we all truly know and own the truth. Some people are just so emotionally damaged and/or are emotionally lazy and/or are socially lazy enough, they attempt to cover up the truth of their aberrant behavior. Like a cat covering it’s pooh with dirt.
So, when the winds of life tosses us all up into the air — social strife — I have come to see this as “love chafing.” It’s an opportunity to accept that the riffraff are merely being sifted out for the debris-of-life that they are. It’s how I maintain a “happiness shield.”
Refrain from taking what they say or do personally, let the wind blow them on down the road. Set them free from our life with love. By releasing them with love we just spared ourselves a whole bucket full of riffraff. Doing this still allows us to remain emotionally open enough to get to treasure the people who do end up showing us beautiful colors to cherish.
These are the people that have merit and worthy weight, like kernels of love heavy enough to land in our hearts, to not be blown away by the wind. These are the people that become true friends.
This is the balance that allows us to find new kernels of love and live a life of gratitude, with beautiful colors shining brightly within our hearts.