The Awakening Began

Posted: October 4th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

On Thursday night, January 5th, my 8-1/2 year relationship ended. My polite explanation for curious minds is that it just hadn’t been working for a while. Nobody is a bad person, there is no villain.

However, it seems that my now ex-boyfriend’s choice of summarily dismissing me, via hanging the phone up on me, (my #1 pet peeve) must have triggered off a primal chemical and/or molecular phenomenon within my body and presence.

Friday morning I proceeded to gather up all of his stuff at my place. I went and got a ‘per usual’ great haircut from Annie. Then I went and bought some packing tape and headed on into a liquor store to see if they had any useable boxes.

I saw several men in the parking lot also heading towards the liquor store. I happened to notice out of the corner of my eye that I was being very actively ignored. In other words, they were indeed checking me out but for some reason wouldn’t look directly at me. I thought this was kind of odd, but whatever. I was on a mission.

Upon taking two steps into the large liquor store I quickly scanned the layout, to see where to go to ask for some boxes. To my right, about 25 feet away from me, was the counter with several people in line.

I had literally only now taken two steps into the store in less than 10 seconds. As I started to take my third step into the store, a very tall hairy man’s actions, that was second in line at the counter, caught my eye. He was easily 6’6″ — nearing Sasquatch height.

He looked at me and then simultaneously, dramatically hung his head, looked away from me, while shaking it in a “no no” motion. He threw his long arms up into the air, shaking them in a “I surrender” mode and then took a very large stride backwards, backing away from me. As he stared at his left foot, still shaking his head and hands he kept mumbling, “No. No.”

His actions stunned me, I was still a good 20 feet away from him. But I proceeded to walk towards the back of the line anyway — which was directly behind him. As he fumbled and mumbled his way through buying his large bottle of beer and two tiny bottles of vodka, I quickly ascertained that this disheveled man had sadly sunken into the bowels of alcoholism.

He kept watching me out of the corner of his eye as he purchased his booze and seemingly tried to get as far away from me as fast as possible. All the while mumbling on in an apologetic tone for even existing.

This tall man was just about to finish his purchase when I heard a male clerk at the other register say, “I can help you over here.” I looked up and saw a man that looked like the typical ‘pinworm-head, needle-nose, uptight bean counter’ type.

In my head I thought to myself, “Oh great, no way this guy is going to be helpful at all. He’ll probably say no, just to say no.”

As I walked over to his register I saw the extremely tall man practically run out of the store. I headed on over to the clerk, smiled and explained that I was looking for some boxes to ship clothing in.

My jaw just about dropped, his entire being changed right before my eyes. He proceeded to  smile a huge smile. He just about beamed as he cheerfully told me they had boxes and where I could find them. In an instant his entire aura changed from that of a pinworm-head to that of a gentle man that was delighted to be helpful.

For sure there was an odd vibration in the air, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. But, hey, I was on a mission. You hang the phone up on me? Here ya go! Here’s your stuff!

I thanked the clerk and then proceeded to the far end of the store. I hadn’t even made it a quarter of the way to the boxes when this scrawny, lanky, pants down past his butt, high school freshman looking kid just about ran up to me. With a huge smile he said, “I can help you! The boxes are right over here. How many do you need?”

After telling him I was shipping clothing he exuberantly dug through a huge pile of boxes. Then with a ‘bend over backwards’ level of enthusiasm he removed all of the cardboard dividers from the ones I figured were the right size. I thanked him and started to gather up the boxes to take them to my car. I figured his eagerness to help must have been to impress his boss and no way would a ‘pants down past his butt’ teenager bother to physically exert himself with offering to help cart boxes to a car.

He motioned for me to stop picking up any boxes and still grinning ear-to-ear he said, “Oh, no, no. I’ll carry these out to your car for you.” As I looked at him and smiled I knew something really, really odd was indeed happening. There definitely was some type of phenomenon taking place.

I smiled back and told myself that I for sure had to speak with Liberty about this. You see, Liberty has this uncanny knack for understanding why men often behave the way they do.

As we walked out to my car I figured the ‘good employee’ act would quickly extinguish itself while out of the bosses scope of vision. Nope. He still was just about falling all over himself to be cheerful and help me.

After thanking the kid I hopped into my car, drove off blasting some rock ‘n roll with a mission to still complete. I mulled over the odd concurrences of male behavior and said aloud, “Oh yeah. I’m telling Liberty about this.”

I packed up the personal belongings cloaked in memories of someone I’ll always cherish. The reward for finishing my errands for the day, lastly of which was to mail off three boxes containing my now ex-boyfriends stuff, was to finally get to have a leisurely chat with Liberty Love.

I told her everything you just read. She laughed a good long laugh and then she said, “You know what they were all doing don’t you? They were pee’n on your tree! Like a wolf, they were marking territory. Letting you know they found you attractive. I’ve seen this happen over and over again.”

She went on to say, “I’m convinced that when a female is either just coming out of a relationship or just going into a relationship, she releases a strong wave of pheromones. Men don’t know that they smell it, but they do. They’re all over it! I’ve seen them do this with even unattractive women. I’ve seen young teenagers ogle at a very plain, obese, older woman who was just coming out of a bad marriage. And I mean they were flat out cat-calling to her from down the block.”

With great authority she said, “Lady? Consider your tree peed upon!”

We had a good laugh. Then I asked her to explain the near violent adverse reaction that the tall man in the liquor store had. I explained that he was just short of falling on his knees, almost in shame.

With a dramatic slow drawl Liberty explained, “The queen has entered the building.”

We both busted up laughing. I asked, “So. I guess my “Today’s Blessing” post on Facebook could be titled “Tree Peeing?”

Again, with the dramatic slow drawl she replied, “Oh yeah.”

The awakening began.

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One Comment on “The Awakening Began”

  1. 1 Liberty said at 12:13 pm on October 4th, 2012:

    Hahaha I love this recounting of your initiation into tree peeing ;) ILYT!