The Nature Of Women

Posted: September 18th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

“Vicious! They’re downright vicious.” This has been the consistent answer to a question I have been asking various women over the past few months. For nearly six months I have been asking women from all walks of life, “What is your experience as to the nature of women?”

No matter how short, or how in-depth  their answers have been, one word has consistently popped up … vicious.

Why have I been asking my heart-sisters, female friends, acquaintances and total strangers this question? At first it was an attempt to scramble for some base-line of reality, from being blasted with negativity from other women. As the months rolled on by, and as I got more fit and trim, I continued to ask out of curiosity. Apparently, generally speaking, my notion of women unconditionally being supportive of one another is a dream.

There is an aspect of being a breast cancer survivor that I haven’t heard being discussed. That of being a woman who has consciously grabbed a hold of the reins to her overall health, and the rewards from having done so. Also, the reaction from other women from having done it. It varies from support, jealousy, joy,  subtle visual daggers and downright contempt.

Walking away from breast cancer with “juvenile” boobs — the medical term for permanent breast implants along with a breast lift — is indeed a perk, pun intended. Perky boobs really can have a deep impact upon a woman’s overall life.

You instantaneously appear younger. Add to that, trimming down — via shedding weight through healthy eating, and, toning up your body with exercise — you look even more youthful. You walk with a distinctive self-accomplished strut. You saunter with an attitude of joy, for having survived and being more healthy.

A survivor’s saunter, however, seems to come with a price when it comes to relating to some women. The strong women who are confident within themselves, and/or the ones who know what you’ve gone through, tend to support and cheer you on.

The weaker women who know you tend to unconsciously mirror their insecurities upon you. They attempt to sab0tage your healthy eating. “Doesn’t some French fries sound utterly delicious? Oh, that’s right. You’re eating all healthy now. Sorry.”

They’ll find fault with any little thing in your overall appearance. “Your lipstick isn’t quite right. Oh, there’s a little stain on your blouse. Some of your hair isn’t laying right. Your earring’s look crooked.” Normally, amongst girlfriends, any of these things would be looked upon as a favor to have been pointed out.

Any friend worth their salt will tell you if you have a booger on your nose. But when these critiques are consistently the first thing to roll off of a girlfriend’s tongue as soon as they see you? And, then if they can’t find any faults, they just stare at your weakest of visual body flaws? You know that this a case of the “green eyes of jealousy.”

Sometimes this is harder to shrug off than the territorial glares that wives give you when their husbands have cast a guilty admiring glance you way. Sometimes it hurts even more than outright hateful words spoken to you by bitter women.

Upon entering a public motorcycle chat room this past spring, I got a rude prick to my breast cancer supportive bubble. I had become so accustomed to being supported by, and being supportive of, other women in my life — it was second nature to dole out compliments to other women. Life is a fleeting gift. So why not live it that way, right?

Moi, smiling at you!

Apparently, bitter women don’t take kindly to such ideals. Let’s just say that these women have been downright publicly abusive towards me. Belittling, mocking, gossip mongering and even attempting to get other women to shun me from the chat room’s social structure.

My giving sincere compliments was deemed as “kissing all the other women’s asses” in the chat room. After recovering from being totally blindsided by their attacks; embracing the support from strong women in the chat room and in my life; and, regaining my bearings to the relativity of my ideals … I went right back to being complimentary and supportive.

I am choosing to stay steadfast in my breast cancer survivor’s dream — Women behaving like a sisterhood, instead of behaving like territorial animals needing to fearfully piss estrogen all over other females.

I am choosing to move through my life with a survivor’s saunter. I will remain steadfastly juxtaposed to the nature of women.

Bitter, insecure women be damned … Smile, my friend! You look beautiful today!

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One Comment on “The Nature Of Women”

  1. 1 Lidiotblog said at 8:04 pm on September 25th, 2012:

    This is a reply a fellow breast cancer survivor sent me about this article.

    September 20, 2012
    “I love this blog entry sooo much and realted more than you would ever dream. F**k those ignorant people who are jealous and dont have the first clue. Thank you for writting this. I thought i was going crazy and was the only one feeling this way”

    Chérie: Wow!! Thank you so very, very much for your positive feedback! In a way I have been holding my breath ever since I put this article out there. It felt like I was ratting women out — or — I was being an overly sensitive sissy pants. Thank you, for affirming sharing does indeed make a difference.

    It looks like I’ll continue to write about my journey through re-identifying with myself as a woman who is a survivor. Frankly talk about the nitty-gritty stuff of being a survivor that’s not normally aired in public.

    I had prayed I could just gloss over it on the blog — but a calling is a calling I guess. Go me, for continuing to be an audacious enough twisted potty-mouthed woman who’ll hang her dirty laundry out on the front porch. lol