Why A Bilateral Mastectomy (Part 3)

Posted: September 30th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Comments Off

ONE OF THE EMOTIONAL REASONS:
    You’re probably thinking, “It’s a picture of a stink’n wooden rack with towels on it. How is that a justifiable emotional reason to opt to chop off both of her boobs?”
    This wooden rack embodies one of my main emotional reasons for opting to have a bilateral mastectomy done. It does this via whom it was handcrafted by; what it was originally intended to be used for; who gave it to me; what it’s ended up being used for instead; and, most importantly, why it was given to me.
    Keith is a craftsman when it comes to making and fixing things. Some men just slap stuff together with no mind to the quality of the end result. Others approach their projects with care and pride, i.e., craftsmanship. When it comes to building and painting things, Keith is indeed a craftsman.
    Over the winter last year, Keith and Ladybug made the wooden rack in the above photograph. They made it from scratch in a little workshop down in the basement where he lives. With each step of the project he was passing along craftsmanship skills along to her.

    A few weeks ago Keith and the girls came to my place for the weekend. Upon their arrival Ladybug came running towards me, all smiles, holding something in her hands. After a zillion hello kisses and hugs with the three girls, Ladybug handed me what was in her hands.
    With a beaming smile she handed me the wooden rack, “This is for you! I want you to have it! We can hang our towels on it!” As I’m giving her thank you hugs I happened to look up and catch an “Oh crap” look on Keith’s face. I did a silent, “what’s wrong look.” He just shook his head with a “never mind.”
    After things settled down a little, and I finally got a chance to speak with Keith alone, I asked him, “Honey, what’s wrong? Why did you look disappointed when Ladybug handed me the wooden rack?” He proceeded to tell me what he use he had made it for.
   Keith had intended the wooden rack to be used as a coat rack for the girl’s coats back at his home. Since Grandma’s coat closet is crammed too full for the girl’s to hang up their coats in it, their coats end up strewn anywhere and everywhere throughout the house. He had designed and made the rack as a solution to end the bulky winter coat mess and put an end to having to keep after them about picking their coats up off the floor or off of the couch. He was going to attach the rack to the enclosed back porch’s wall as a solution.
    So, later that day I decided to see if I could sway Ladybug’s well meaning gift back to it’s original intended use, as a coat rack. I pointed out to her how the pegs being so close to each other where really meant for coats. That they were too close together for towels to properly dry. I suggested that if they went ahead and used it as a coat rack at Grandma’s, she and Dad could make me a new rack over this coming winter. They could make a rack with fewer pegs, spaced further apart, so the towels could dry quickly and not get smelly.
    Ladybug hung her head in silence for a bit, mulling over the logic that had been proposed to her. Then she looked up at me, with a slightly sad face she quietly mumbled, “But I wanted you to have this one.”
    I cradled her face with my hands, getting ready to do a better sales job on getting her to make a rack designed for towels with Dad over the winter. Keith saw the look on Ladybug’s face and interjected, “Honey, she wants you to have this one. We’ll make another coat rack together this winter.”
    This is when I realized that the true functionality of the wooden rack meant nothing. What was of true importance was that it was a gift of love, from the heart of a child who loved me.
    Keith patiently put up with his wooden rack installation being supervised in my tiny bathroom — by, Ladybug, Billy Boy and myself.
    Every day now I get to see a wooden rack that symbolizes so much. For ladybug it’ll hold fond childhood memories of time spent with her dad. For Keith it’ll hold memories of passing along skills of having pride in what you do, and, time spent with Ladybug. For me, it’ll hold memories of love, lots of love.
    But mainly it symbolizes one of the main emotional reasons for my bilateral decision. That wooden rack symbolizes the presence of being a part of a family unit, Keith, myself and the three girls. I am grabbing at the best 90% chance, per breast, that I have of seeing that wooden rack being used for decades to come.

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