Where I’ll Be

Posted: August 17th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

    There has been a lot of movement within my chunk of the Universe the past couple of weeks, many of them deeply sobering as to the fragility of life itself as a whole. Hearing of a friend being told they have 3-5 months to live due to liver cancer; being a source of strength and comfort for a loved one’s struggle with vacillating lucidity; and, maintaining my personal center of balance while sitting back and watching the green eyes of jealousy devour a friendship … well, it’s all been extremely sobering, to say the least.
    Last night, as I sat down and started to write this blog piece, chunks of a Dove Dark Chocolate bar were being dipped into Skippy’s Natural Creamy Peanut Butter … After what had seemed like a zillion medical phone calls yesterday; last minute errands to run; last minute logistics of rides and post-operative care being rearranged — all just two days away from my Lumpectomy … well, the culinary indulgence felt downright justifiable, turns it it was. Moments after my last indulgent bite, a dear friend needed soothing words and silly stories retold on a ride to the emergency room. I feel blessed to have been able to help her, and her family out.
    But now, it’s time for me to unplug from the outside world for a couple of days — I’ll be practicing Racaroonie skills with my Dad. Due to Keith’s work schedule he just isn’t able to get away to be here with me for the surgery. I wish it wasn’t tearing at him so badly, but logistics are logistics sometimes. I know his heart is with me every second. So, my dad is going to pick me up this afternoon. Then tomorrow morning we’ll leave bright and early to be at the hospital by 7:00 A.M. Oh joy on that time!
    Yesterday a hospital nurse with pre-surgical instructions called and told me, “you can take a Valium before surgery if you like, since your blood pressure is so high right now.” I told her, “Screw that! Dope me up big time from the get go upon my arrival!! And, during surgery I don’t want any twilight state crap either. Knock my ass out!” She laughed, told me I should speak with my doctor about that.
    After hanging up with the pre-op nurse I called Fleur and said, “I want my ass knocked out!”  FLeur laughed and put me on hold. Dr. W assistant, Donna, picked up my call and told me, “He says quote unquote, “Anything you want.” Excellent!!
   So, Dr. W has promised me he’d make sure I’ll be fully knocked out for the procedure, instead of just being put into a twilight state. [Does a George Lopez accent here] Me don’t wanna know NOOOOOOOOO-THIIIIIIIIIING!!
    So, this is where I’ll be … In my mind I’ll be at one of two of my most favorite spots in the whole world … on a boat fishing with Keith and the girls or riding on the back of the motorcycle with him.
    After the surgery I’ll be back at my dad’s place. I’ll get to whine and ask for favorite foods that only he makes the best — hey, even at 52, it’s my God given child’s right in life to do so — gotta milk this cancer crap for all it’s worth, right????
    I’ll spend the night at my dad’s and then come back home on Thursday, probably sometime during the day. If I’m up to it I’ll try and post y’all something while I’m at my dad’s. If not, I’ll at least be calling a few friends and they can post an update on my wall — so you’ll know what’s up.
    Okay, I’ve written an update, did my daily meditation, took the blood pressure medicine they put me on as of yesterday, my overnight bag is packed … now I think tuning out of reality on some Valium is in order.
    Do me a favor? Right now, take in a deep breath. Yes, right now. I’m asking that you take in a deep breath. Now exhale it with an appreciation for the gift that the Universe, God gave it to you in — life. It’s a precious gift, live it that way.

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One Comment on “Where I’ll Be”

  1. 1 Anonymous said at 6:24 am on August 19th, 2010:

    : )