The Good, Bad ‘n Ugly

Posted: May 13th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: cancer girl, IHP | 2 Comments »

:::Cancer Girl adjusts her janitorial disguise as she putters around the conference room.
Just in time she slaps the eavesdropping bug underneath the mammoth sized, solid mahogany conference table:::

    Three drug company corporate big wigs plop their folders onto the table and plunk down into their cushy leather chairs — the meeting commences.

:::Cancer Girl slips out of the conference room.
Hiding out in the bathroom she listens in on their conversation:::

Charles: (in an annoyed tone) “Joe, what’s the update on that intravenous dye product for the MRI’s and Xrays?”

Joe: (nonchalantly pulls out a folder from a tall stack, opens it)” Well, Charles, our trail runs so far have boiled down to a case of “The Good, Bad ‘n Ugly.” The good is, this dye really shows up any targeted contrasts very well. The bad is, when the technicians warned the patients about the after effects of the dye, the patients made a fuss.” (lets out an annoyed sigh and continues) “Then the technicians made a fuss to their supervisors, and so on and so on — until we were ankle deep in gripes.”

Denise: (motions to Joe to slide the folder over) And the bad is?
(takes a look at the folder and slides it over to Charles)

Joe: (fiddles with his overly expensive pen set) “Until the dye has been totally flushed out of the patient’s system their urine smells like a pool of toxic waste every time they pee. Then when it hits their lower digestive tract they, uh, well, uh, their poop smells like something from Homer Simpson’s job site. It stinks the high heavens. That’s the bad.”

Charles: (closes folder, raises one distinguished looking eyebrow, drolly says) “And the ugly?”

Joe: (leans way back in cushy leather chair, mildly snickers) “It makes their butts feel like they ate a dozen jalapeno peppers.”

Denise: (unable to contain callously toned laughter) “Holy Burning Butts, Bat Girl!”
(all three launch into uproarious laughter)

:::The next day Cancer Girl returns disguised as a lunch delivery person.
She hands the three corporate big wigs their lunch orders:::

Cancer Girl: (exuding extreme perkiness) “We thought you might like a free sample of our newest health drink. It’s called, “Seaside Slushy.” It has all kinds of yummy fruits and goodies from the sea. Enjoy!”

Seaside Slushy
1 pineapple, very ripe
2 bananas, extremely ripe
6 strawberries
2 cups yogurt, 1 week past expiration date
1 pint rum
2 cups ice cubes
1 squid, slightly thawed
1 Mackerel entrails, slightly thawed
9 drops Visine
3 packets of “Butt Burn ‘n Itch” powder

Blend all ingredients in a blender until slushy smooth. Serve to unsuspecting idiotsticks that don’t believe in informing patient’s of said dye’s side affects.

:::Chérie does her best innocent look:::
Whaaaaaaat?!?!?! It’s perfectly legit to fantasize about revenge!
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2 Comments on “The Good, Bad ‘n Ugly”

  1. 1 Bonnie Farris said at 5:50 pm on May 13th, 2010:

    Doddle you crack me up !!! lmaoo but man why waste all the good bait on those idiots in suits??? hehehehee

  2. 2 CrazyYarnHarlot said at 7:50 pm on May 13th, 2010:

    rofl…hahahahahahahahahahahhahaha….hahahahahahahahahahhahaha…. hahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahaha …..oh man…hahahahahahahahahahha

    (even think about kissing me again i will tie you up and mess up the kitchen and walk away, leaving you there to look at it)