New Identity X’s Two

Posted: May 3rd, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: audacious | 5 Comments »

   The following statement [this particular blog post] is for anyone who believes my “plucky” attitude about my cancer is because it’s still new to me. 
   A little over 11 years ago I was diagnosed with Fibromylagia and Chronic Fatigue. My first question, upon finally finding out what was wrong with me, was, “Am I going to die from this?” My exemplary Nurse Practitioner at the time replied, “No. But there will be days you wish it would.”
   I had never even heard of fibro before that definitive moment in my life. He went on to tell me, “Who you were and how you lived your life before is over. It’s gone, it’s dead. You are going to have to reinvent yourself if you still want to live a qualitative life.”
   Upon his recommendation I went to a grief counselor to help me through the “death” of my former self. It was one of the very best things he ever had me do. To this day, I owe that Nurse Practitioner my deepest gratitude. Thank you, wherever you are!
   The destructive waves of the fibro crashed through my life, it nearly broke my spirit. But, the counseling helped me pluck out the good pieces still floating after the wreckage of my classic Type-A personality’s wings being broken and subsequently a destroyed marriage to boot. I gathered up those pieces and created a new way of living my life. I created a new identity for myself — New Identity X’s One.
   April 25, 2010, the day the words “you have cancer” were uttered, was yet another definitive life changing moment. Cancer has forever changed my life, my identity — New Identity X’s Two.
   No matter what stage cancer is at within my body, it will now forever be attached to my identity. Kinda like an Academy Award nominee or winner … “Ladies and gentlemen, please give a big round of applause for Academy Award winner, Blah Blah Blah!”

=;> WHERE’S  MY  FREAK’N  CANCER  STATUE?!?!?!?!? =;>
   Well??? Why not? I can see it now … “And the winner for “Most Audacious Cancer Warrior” goes to Chérie!” The crowd erupts into a deafening applause. As I walk up to give my acceptance speech I step on the train of the gown I sewed for myself. I collect my composure. Clutching the statue, I look at the microphone, at the statue, at the audience and then say, “Umm, I totally forgot what I was going to say.” (My loved ones don’t call me Dory Doodles for nothing ya know! [after Dory the fish in "Finding Nemo"])

   Okay, coming around the bend to get back to my point here … Round one of creating a new identity for myself taught me one very valuable lesson that I have since lived by.

Focus on what you do have in life
Not on what you don’t have. 

   Now round two, via Cancer, will just be another opportunity to give witness to this way of living, living with a thankful heart. I have been blessed with a wonderful village … My loving Keith and his three girls, my heart sisters and a gaggle of good humored friends. I have a fantastic team of doctors and medical staff that I honestly trust. And, last but not least, Billy. A black half-Siamese cat that owns me, who reminds me on a daily basis to above all remember silliness. What more could a gal ask for?
   I still want a freak’n cancer statue though.

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5 Comments on “New Identity X’s Two”

  1. 1 Kaiku said at 3:32 pm on May 3rd, 2010:

    It is good that you have a great team of healthcare providers and councilors. But, I really need to know, How does one come up with a statue for cancer? It wouldn't be a bling bling kinda thing to put on the mantle over the fireplace. So Here, let me throw this one back at ya sis! "Focus on what you DO have in your Life, Not on what you DON'T have.." Consider one for Cancer Survivor instead! What do ya think?

  2. 2 joanne_glass said at 3:52 pm on May 3rd, 2010:

    "Remember Silliness" words to live by. Perhaps the cancer statue is the prelim to the cancer survivor one…like the Golden Globe winner is a shoo in to the Oscar. That could be your golden globe, a nice round globe with a nipple on top.

  3. 3 Chérie said at 1:30 pm on May 4th, 2010:

    My line of thinking about the cancer statue joke is as follows (sorry if I wasn't clear enough about it in my original post) …

    Just like an Academy Award winner or nominee — that title will be attached to them the rest of their lives, it will always be attached to their identity — as will my cancer. I'll either be in some stage of it, in remission from it or a survivor of it.

    If the Academy Award winners get a statue — then I want one too!!! I'm a winner, no matter what. If I'm to have this journey thrust unto my consciousness, my loved one's consciousness — I WANT A FREAK'N CANCER STATUE FOR IT!! lol

    NOW do you get the joke????

  4. 4 Chérie said at 1:36 pm on May 4th, 2010:

    Kaiku … thanks for much my morning chuckle. You provided a glimpse as to what Joe must have always felt like when he had to explain a joke to me. lmao

  5. 5 Chérie said at 3:53 pm on May 5th, 2010:

    Geesh … *thank you so much for my morning chuckle.* I fear I might be getting a case of "Bonnie-itous Typoeese" =;>