Fighter vs. Warrior

Posted: April 30th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: audacious | Comments Off

Has moxie, is brazen, fearless, brave, a fighter … these are some of the kinder adjectives people have bestowed upon strong women like me over the years. [We won't go into the not so kinds ones right now. lol]  I’ve worn each one with pride. They have been well earned chinks in my feminine armor. But now I find myself needing to modify at least one of these adjectives … a fighter.
   I got to thinking about this while Billy Boy, my cat, and I were entrenched in our morning lallygag session of snuggling and purring yesterday. When sharing the news of my breast cancer with loved ones and friends, I’ve been hearing people call me a fighter quite a bit now. It’s a compliment. I take it as such. But, I don’t feel like a fighter anymore — hear me out.
   Here’s the image of a fighter that flashed before my warped little brain yesterday morning.

    Chérieesetaneequa kicks over her nearly empty apple martini glass as she springs up from her comfy spot on the front stoop. What’s left of the drink spills onto the deeply soiled fake leather recliner that’s endured one too many winters outside. She readjusts her two-sizes-too-small tube top and then hastily removes her over-sized hoop earrings. Chérieesetaneequa’s fists then commence to wail away on her BFF Boneesha — all because a neighbor down the street claimed her boyfriend, Rodney, was sleeping with her BFF. (Hey, I gave her some class … she was drinking an apple martini!!)

   Anyway … back to my point. As Billy Boy purred I came to realize that I now see a fighter as being a reactionary brawler and a warrior as being a responsive survivor. Someone who takes a step back, collects themselves, assesses the situation and then sets into motion the steps to conquer. I have morphed into a warrior.
   Some might say this metamorphosis into a warrior came about via maturity. In my case? I highly doubt it. =;> It has more than likely come about from the sheer brazenness to push forward the audacity to take a stance and spit in the eye of fear, spit in the eye of cancer.
   I have assessed the situation. I am now setting into motion the steps to conquer the fear that cancer evokes. No matter what happens along this new hairpin bend in my river of life, my spirit will not yield to fear.
   I am a warrior, an audacious cancer warrior.

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